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Saturday, October 31, 2009
It all started with Chloe visiting Savannah- Chloe and her abductor at Forsyth Park in Savannah My youngest son Sam needed my help moving to another apartment in Savannah, so Chloe and I went down to assist in the moving
and bring excess furniture back. I should have never fell for it. Once Chloe was exposed to the smells of all those old parks
in Savannah, she longed to return. Since Sam was to be living by himself, it was a natural fit for Chloe to move to Savannah.
When I started The Decision there was no such thing as our other dog, Penelopee. Chloe and Penelopee became close
friends, my wife and I fell in love with the Lab, and that's when my son strategically asked,"Can Chole come to visit
me in Savannah? She can stay with me until I come home for my birthday." That was about the last we've seen of the Chlomiester.
"She loves long walks on the beach at Hilton Head", he tells us. "Girls love her", he tells us. Meanwhile
all of our attention is now directed at the Pompie and I don't know if we will ever get Chloe back or for that matter, if
Chloe will ever want to come back. So...all the stuff I was doing with Chloe in the book, I am now doing with Peppi; a Chloe
clone so to speak.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
A "good fit"A urologist is examining a male patient and much to his surprise sees that the man has five "you know whats."
"My goodness Sir. In my many years of practicing Urology, I don't believe I have seen ever anything like this!
It must be a problem getting clothing for your particular anatomy. I am curious, for instance, how do your pants fit?" The
patient replies with a smile,"Like a Glove!"
Monday, October 26, 2009
Where's Chloe?
A lady with a dead rabbit asks the Vet," Is my rabbit dead?"
"Yes he
says. It is dead. That will be $20.00." "$20? You
did not do anything. How do you know he's dead?" "Would
you like me to do some tests?" "Why yes. I love this
rabbit. I want to be sure." The Vet brings in a cat that
sniffs the rabbit, and then leaves. The Vet brings in
a Chocolate Lab and she also sniffs the rabbit and leaves. The
Vet then says, "Your rabbit is dead! That will be $120.00 dollars!""$120.00? Are you kidding? For what?" The
Vet responds,"For the Cat scan and Lab tests I had to do." For two weekends,
I took our Chocolate Lab Penelopee to my office for a picture to accompany this joke. It took about twenty shots and several
cans of Alpo to get the picture seen here. Patients have loved the picture and the joke, and each time ask for the picture
so they can tell the joke later with the "prop" and then take the picture away with them, necessitating me to print
off another Cat scan and Lab test picture. Isn't she's so pretty....... On a later blog,
I'll explain why people are asking "Where's Chloe?" She's fine. I just don't have her anymore...for now...
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Allen who?My wife and I went to a wedding last p.m. and at the reception were talking
to two friends. At one point in the conversation, the wife of this couple said that she had heard I was writing
a book. "What is it about John?" Responding with a remark and a technique I call "shock humor" I
say with all seriousness, "Penile enlargement." At first taken aback but then finding the reponse very funny, she
began to laugh. As we are laughing, the husband leans forward to discern why all the laughter, and asks, "Allen who?"
I said, " P. Allen Largeman. You wouldn't know him."
25 oct 09 @ 7:53 am
Saturday, October 24, 2009
The Big Bag When we came up with idea of the doctor as a patient illustrated by
a doctor with the tubing coming out of a lab jacket and into a bedside bed, the issue then became how to make the fluid look
like urine. The photographer Travis Massey suggested apple juice, " Just bring the bag. I'll fill it up when you get
here." He filled it to full capacity in order to get some of the apple juice into the bag and the tubing. This in turn
made the bag much too full and prompted several funny remarks from people that saw the picture."Man, John. You must have
had a real full bladder." "You must have really needed to go!" Placing the bag in the foreground further made
the bag look big and full. Several weeks later at 7 am., and prior to surgery one morning, I went over to Travis's studio
and in his parking lot filled a second bag with one can of Icehouse beer and one can of Bud Light. We did not worry about
the tubing this time and only filled the bag half full; better representing a more real situation. This is the
bag that is on the cover of the book. Travis took pictures of the new bag on an associate and then pasted it onto the original
picture you see here for the final outcome. If you are wondering why the beer looks so much like urine, it goes back to the
addage," You don't buy beer, you rent it."
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